


Him & I

by notasawrap



Series: thinking out loud [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, CEO Harry, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Milan Fashion Week, Mile High Club, Model Louis, Mpreg, Omega Louis, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, fenty puma, i just can't stop myself, rihanna because she is the boss, there's a jet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:09:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notasawrap/pseuds/notasawrap
Summary: Louis inhales deeply and... "Maybe we should divorce." He lets go anxiously, without looking at Harry. He can't, Louis can't do this and pretend that it doesn't hurt, that his omega is not dying, but he knows it must be for the best. They have not been working for a while and Louis doesn't think the alpha wants that either. Besides, now there are more things at stake and Louis wants to let go before it's too late for both of them.Maybe Harry even has some lover and although Louis loves Harry, Louis doesn't think Harry loves him back. Not anymore."Why would we do that?" Harry says and sounds really dismayed at the idea. Louis doesn't understand.or Louis thinks Harry has a lover and he's willing to let's Harry go to be happy with someone else even if it hurts the three of them.





	Him & I

**Author's Note:**

> Him & I by G-eazy and Halsey 'cause that's such a good song.  
> Wrote this to the love of my life but I'm hoping she'd never be able to read this actually; She's so young.
> 
> 'M not gonna lie, this is my first english work and I'm super nervous about it but also super excited. I REALLY wanna thank to my beta, _Courtney_ , who helped me lots, she was super awesome and is the one who made this have this any sense also wanna thank to _Sammie_ who was an amazing britpicker, super kind and everything.  
>  They both saved my life by helping me with this and I appreciate it so much.
> 
> Anyway. There is a thing you may know before start reading.  
> First of all. I don't talk about the mate here, like, in the way I have learned write about ABO, it would be a disaster, but I'll be talking about this later.  
> I thinks that's all. I feel really proud of this, anyway, I hope you like it.

_Cross my heart, hope to die_  
_To my lover, I'd never lie_  
_He said "be true," I swear I'll try_  
_In the end, it's him and I_  
_He's out his head, I'm out my mind_  
_We got that love, the crazy kind_  
_I am his, and he is mine_ _  
_ In the end, it's him and I, him and I

**x**

"I'll be modeling in the launch of the third collection of _Fenty Puma_ at _Milan Fashion Week_ , it's a big thing." Louis says excitedly, he has been saying this over and over since his agent told him the news a few weeks ago, but he hadn't had the opportunity to share his happiness with Harry since they haven't seen each other much lately. It's sad, but Louis pretends that his omega doesn’t grow smaller at the thought of the decay of their relationship. He doesn’t want to tarnish this moment.

Louis waits patiently for an answer, but when it doesn't arrive Louis begins to feel nervous. Louis bites his bottom lip.

"Haz," Louis mutters tentatively. There are several seconds of silence before he hears a snort.

"I'm a little busy now, Louis." The alpha sounds serious. Louis nods to himself.

"Good, I'll see you when I get back."

"Keep Preston with you." Harry says and Louis would like to see the expression on his face as these words leave his lips. He almost wants to laugh hysterically because he doesn't even believe that Harry is really worried. It's mostly the mania that the alpha has to have control over everything around him.

Louis' chest hurts and he swallows, blinking away tears before letting go. "Whatever," curtly and cut the call. He doesn't think Harry really cares much.

Louis keeps the phone in his back pocket and turns his head to look at Preston. Louis sighs heavily, ignoring the sadness in his chest.

"He's not coming," Louis informs Preston, hating the sad note in his voice. Louis clears his throat and looks at him who follows him closely, always professional. They make their way to the jet and Louis lets his suitcases go up while he huddles in one of the leather seats, wrapped in a Saint Laurent coat that belonged to Harry and that looks too big on his body. It Doesn't matter, anyway. Louis doesn't think Harry remembers it.

Preston is the only person who always accompanies Louis. He’s the only one who Harry allows him to be close to the omega. He's a beta and was the first bodyguard that the alpha had, since he was very young, so a few months after Louis and Harry started dating. The alpha put Preston at the disposal of the omega and it has been that way for years now. Louis knows he can trust his life to Preston and he does it every day. The beta has been the only constant in his life since Louis barely has time to visit his family, too busy between work and Harry.

The jet takes off half an hour later and Louis appreciates that Preston is good at his job. He is also good at pretending that he doesn't really hear the sobs that escape from Louis' mouth.

**x**

Milan is warm at this time of year, but receives them with a light rain, however, apart from that everything looks very nice and magical.

The buildings are huge, classic and glamorous designs. The streets traveled by all kinds of people and for a moment they seem to move in slow motion, a mixture of smells that should make Louis feel sick, but on the contrary it's even a little reassuring; calming.

Preston is next to another beta in the front seats while Louis is in the back seats, watching through the window as they move through the streets, all happening in a blur with the speed increase.

Louis is living his dream.

He had wanted to model in Milan since the beginning of his career, and now that his dream is about to be fulfilled is a bit bittersweet, because he has no one but himself and Preston, but it isn't enough. Not when he would like to have Harry here more than anyone, but it seems that the alpha is too busy with anything that doesn't involve having to talk or see Louis. It's even a little discouraging, because he had shared his dreams and goals with Harry from the beginning and now they are coming true, but Harry is not by his side to enjoy it together.

Louis takes a deep breath, closing the front of his coat and tilting his head back, a cold that seeps into his bones making him tremble. Suddenly his teeth are chattering.

"You feeling good, Louis?" Preston asks from the front seat, Louis nods, biting his bottom lip.

"Is it going to take long to get to the hotel?" Louis asks after a couple of minutes of silence. "I would really like to rest."

"We are almost there." It's all Louis receives in response and the only thing he really needs.

It's good that the beta is professional and he does not say anything about Louis sleeping during the whole flight or about Louis not getting enough food during the last few days.

Louis is fine and everything's okay.

**x**

He meets Rihanna. Louis is a bit out of his mind when it happens.

All models, men and women, omegas, betas and alphas, are gathered, listening to the choreographer's instructions. It's not as if they had not already done so, but it is only to remind them; everything has to be perfect.

Louis is halfway on the runway, preparing to make his pose when he hears a scream coming from behind him. He recognizes it immediately and a prick of worry crosses his chest. Louis makes a hasty move, almost falling, but the omega manages to hold himself up and then he runs to the other side of the stage. Louis is paralyzed almost immediately.

She is there, in the middle of some models, with a smile on her face as she gestures towards them. Rihanna is a beta, and it's quite normal for everyone to feel so comfortable being with her. Zayn is there, close, too, and Louis now understands the reason for the recent shout. It's not like he doesn't feel he wants to do the same. However, Louis is contained and he jumps offstage with the help of Preston who's always close, thankfully, and approaches where the others are.

"... I am very excited for this collection, it's a little more special than the previous two and that we are holding the event here instead at any other fashion week is important," she says when Louis is close enough to hear. "As I said from the beginning. **I want to take Puma to a new place with something unpredictable and unexpected** . I'm confident that all of you will be able to project what I want with each piece of clothing. Thank you very much for being part of this." Everyone applauds and Louis almost wants to cry because _he is achieving his fucking_ dream.

**x**

The fashion show is even more than Louis expected.

The clothes are incredible. Soft and comfortable, the way they fit to his figure is extraordinary and Louis' so excited that he completely forgets about the problems in his life and lets himself go while he's modeling.

There is applauses, laughter and exclamations. The music is amazing and perfect with the atmosphere, everything feels even softer.

It's another world and Louis is sure he will never forget about this moment in his life.

Everything ends almost too fast and there is adrenaline running through Louis' veins, so he finds himself jumping a bit when he is stopped for a short interview.

The interviewer, an omega, smiles when Louis stands at his side, both facing the camera. "Here with us is Louis Tomlinson," she begins animatedly, "we're very happy to have you here, welcome."

"Thank you very much," he says, trying to sound as calm as possible, but he is buzzing. "I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit nervous to be here."

"You don't have to be, we love you here." Louis murmurs a soft _'thank you'_. "So you just finished your last lap, right? How do you feel?"

"I'm a little bit out of it to be honest," Louis confesses, "but there's also all this adrenaline and I'm vibrating a little, so I think that's fine."

"You have done this for a while now, how and when did the idea of modeling began, was it always your childhood dream?"

"No, like, I never expected something like this in my life. At some point I thought I could go to university and be a teacher, I've always liked children, but beyond that I've always wanted to do something great with my life and be the best in whatever I choose to do. When I was growing up, the structure of my body was thin and the features of my face were very defined, unlike anybody in school. So I don't know, I guess to do this was just something that came up over the years."

"Okay, that's good and yeah, you're here, what do you think about the body stereotype that has always been sold to us? About alphas not being good at this."

"I think it's horrible that in the 21st century there are still people who label us, you know. There are many barriers that we have to break down, but the most important thing is that we should not let the opinions of others make us give up. That's the worst thing anyone can do. I followed my dreams and here I am, anyone can do it. It's not easy, but it's worth it. And well, you’ve just seen those alphas showing their talents on the runway minutes ago, they're so flipping amazing."

"We're aware that doing this is difficult, and we were wondering if is there any sacrifices you have had to make to get here?"

"Mmhm ... I guess so, I don't have that much time to see my family since most of them live in London and I live in Los Angeles, so it's a bit difficult because of the work, but I do the best I can and I have constant supp-support... "Louis clears his throat, suddenly remembering the lack of someone important there and how there is not as much support as he believes. Louis smiles, but he knows that his scent had a sudden change and is a bit bitter now. "I'm sorry but I have to go."

Louis moves away from the interviewer, ready to go to his dressing room, but instead is stopped by Zayn and Louis can't refuse small talk, he doesn't know when he will have the opportunity to see his friend again, so he takes full advantage of it. It takes fifty minutes more to return to his dressing room, after having gone through a couple of short interviews (at least much shorter than the first) and the group photo. He says goodbye to Zayn and promise he's going to visit him as soon as he had figured his shit with Harry.

He's even more tense about that and there is no more adrenaline in his body. It has been slowly drained and Louis is now a little tired, ready to go back to the hotel. However, nothing prepares him to see the figure of Harry. Louis flinches, his gaze flying to where the alpha is in the middle of the room. Looking immaculate in a satin suit that Louis knows Harry loves it.

"Haz?" Louis mutters incredulously, his omega scratching at his chest as the scent of the alpha begins to envelop him. Harry was not supposed to be here (or anywhere other than LA). They haven't spoken in three days and Louis is sure that Harry didn't care much, but he's still a controlling man.

"Preston is here," Louis says, aware that this is probably what Harry needs to know. "He's outside waiting for me to change my clothes so we can go to the hotel."

"No more hotel," the alpha comments lightly, walking towards Louis, his scent growing stronger, "we have to go home."

**_'Home'_ ** Louis thinks bitterly. The word sounds heartbreakingly inappropriate. That word has lost its meaning long ago and it shouldn't be like that, but it's the way things are.

Louis makes a sound with his throat, bouncing impatiently. "I'm not a trophy husband." He clarifies seriously, looking at any place other than Harry, ignoring the anxiety of his omega, which dies by wrapping around the alpha, his heat, delirious to be impregnated with the scent of Harry.

"I know that very well, but you're done here and you can go home."

Harry is a few steps away, and if it were another time Louis would probably shorten the distance and kiss Harry and then whisper against his lips _'let's go home'_ , unfortunately not all dreams come true and Louis will end this sooner than later.

Louis inhales deeply and... "Maybe we should divorce." He lets go anxiously, without looking at Harry. He can't, Louis can't do this and pretend that it doesn't hurt, that his omega is not dying, but he knows it must be for the best. They have not been working for a while and Louis doesn't think the alpha wants that either. Besides, now there are more things at stake and Louis wants to let go before it's too late for both of them.

Maybe Harry even has some lover and although Louis loves Harry, Louis doesn't think Harry loves him back. Not anymore.

"Why would we do that?" Harry says and sounds really dismayed at the idea. Louis doesn't understand.

Louis takes a breath and he looks up at Harry, meeting the alpha's frown. "We don't work together anymore, we haven't for a while now." Louis alleges, ignoring the lump in his throat, the lead in his shoulders, the sadness in his chest.

Harry denies it incredulously, biting his bottom lip. And it's the most anxious that Louis has seen him in years, he almost wants to return the time to avoid saying those words, but there is no turning back.

Louis hugs himself, the cold seeping into his bones even though the heater is on and he's wearing big clothes. Louis knows what it means, he knows it's the need for his omega because of the proximity of the alpha.

"There's something else. What is it?" Harry asks. _Shrewd_ , Louis thinks. At least Harry still knows him.

"Does not matter."

"Say it." Harry says seriously, his scent more intense than a few minutes ago and it's not supposed to be so attractive, calling for Louis. Louis denies. "Louis." There is a warning in his words and although Louis knows Harry and knows that he could not hurt him or use his alpha voice on him, Louis doesn't really know what to expect.

Louis takes a deep breath, bending his head and closing his eyes because he isn't sure that he'll be able to hold back the tears for long.

Louis bites the inside of his cheek before letting go. "We're going to have a baby." When the words leave his mouth, Louis knows that there is no going back, not now.

Louis knows how Harry feels about this and if he believed that the alpha was not going to want a divorce before, he can be sure that now there is nothing to stop him. It's sad, but _it is what it is._

"What?" Harry questions, sounds suspiciously incredulous. Louis doesn't know what to do with himself, but he doesn't answer either. He's not capable. "Louis." Harry calls, Louis shake his head without looking at him and it only takes a second before Harry rushes forward, holding Louis' jaw and pulling it up. Louis gasps impressed; _scared_ . It doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable because even if Harry is upset Louis doesn't believe that Harry could do something to _hurt him_ , not intentionally. But that calm him and Louis can't help but tremble.

"Look at me." Harry demands without using his alpha voice. Nevertheless, Louis does so without question.

Harry's eyes are wild, his pupils dilated, barely leaving a thin line of green irises hardly visible for anyone not at the same distance their faces are.

Louis swallows. "Listen," Louis starts, swallowing again and blinking away the tears, but that doesn't stop a couple from sliding down his cheeks. Louis pretends they're not there and stares at Harry. "I know what you must be thinking and what you think about babies, okay?" There's a faintly manic tinge to his voice, but it's the least important now "But I don't. -Look, I don’t need anything, alright, I'm not going to take any of your money after the divorce and I'm going to leave, okay?" There are more and more tears rolling down his cheeks, but Louis doesn't care. Doing this is fucking difficult and is breaking every part of him to expel the words. "I know you don't want this," Harry mutters a ' _stop'_ that Louis ignores, "and you're not forced or whatever. It was a slip, but I can do it on my own, I have what I need and with a couple of shows, everything is going to be fine for me and I'm going to tell Preston to take my things out of the house before you comes ba-" Harry kisses him.

It's unexpected and Louis’ response is almost instinctive. The way his eyes shut close and his lips mould to Harry's is something he’s done for years. Louis' heart beats loudly, pounding against his ribcage as their tongues meet and their teeth bump together desperately. Louis almost loses the way Harry's hand tightens around his waist and pulls him closer, his own hand tentatively seeking where to hold on, something that proves to him that this is real and not a simple dream. That Louis is kissing his husband after weeks without doing it and it almost seems as if Harry really wants it.

Their breathing is difficult the moment they part, but Harry keeps pecking his lips and kissing his cheeks. Each action overwhelming Louis and there are tears that wet his cheeks, hiccups that escape his lips and tremors that shake his entire body.

It's too much.

"Shh," Harry hisses, hugging Louis against his chest as he trembles, Louis leans on the alpha, letting his instinct take over. But it feels a little weird, because it seems like it's been years since they were this way. "My beautiful omega, aren't you?" Harry says softly. Louis whimpers, breathing the scent of the alpha and filling himself with the slight tranquility it gives him. "I love you so much baby."

"Alpha." Louis murmurs barely audible, hoarse voice and eyes shining with tears.

"I'm here, love, everything's fine." Harry says comfortingly, stroking Louis' back gently as he swings their bodies together.

Louis sobs, catching Harry's jacket in his fists, sipping his nose. "Is it?" Louis asks tentatively, biting his lips to stop the sobs.

Harry respond immediately, but the alpha hugs Louis more tightly and kisses his head before they fall into a silence that is only interrupted by their own breaths.

Louis clings to that, to Harry, getting as much as possible. He wants to have the scent of his alpha impregnated in his body as in the old days. Louis wants to be able to fool himself for a moment and pretend that everything's the same as years ago, when he barely knew what it felt like to smell himself; his own scent.

Another couple of silent minutes pass before Harry slides his hands into Louis' waist and pushes their bodies apart, barely enough to be able to look at their faces. Louis blinks slowly, looking at Harry through his lashes. The firm lines on the alpha's jaw, soft lips, green eyes, and short hair that Louis hadn't been able to appreciate correctly.

Harry is beautiful, an alpha in every sense of the word. Imposing and reckless, but...

But Louis really would like to have his alpha; Harry who donates in every charity that Louis knows. Harry who took him to Paris on his third date, but blushed each time Louis gives him a compliment. The same Harry who swore eternal love to him. God, Louis misses him a lot.

Harry takes a deep breath, his hands flying around Louis' neck. "I love you." Harry starts softly, the words escaping from his mouth without problem. "You know, right?" He asks, something in his eyes that Louis can't decipher. Louis wants to nod, his instinct almost forcing him to satisfy the alpha, but Louis can't. He doesn't know if that's even real, then Louis looks away. Harry sighs deeply, a snort and something like _'shit'_ leaving his lips.

"I do, I love you." Harry says, pressing a thumb on Louis' pulse point, the omega looks at him. "It's been years since I said that about children, okay?" The alpha sounds even a little tired, Louis would like to know the reason. "I was young, stupid and had gone through an abysmal amount of bad relationships, the last thing I wanted was to end up tied to someone who just wanted my money," he explains, "but everything has changed since then," he says, stroking Louis' neck with his thumb. The omega can't help but lean on the touch, taking everything that the alpha offers, thirsty for it. "I want this with you, a family and what you said minutes ago about divorce and leaving... I don't think I could survive losing you, love. You're the one who matters most to me in the whole fucking world."

"But-" Louis tries to refute and Harry gives him a look that makes him close his mouth.

"I know it's been crap lately and I haven't done a good job showing anything I just said, and there are a lot of things I have to tell you and I want to -I need to do it, but first I'd like to go home, okay?" Louis just nods and lets the alpha kiss his forehead before the older man steps back and points to Louis' clothes on the chair.

Harry is attentive to every movement while Louis takes off his clothes and leaves it on the chair. He's wearing a buso and a high-collared coat that has a huge print on his sleeve, it's beautiful and Louis really loves it. Louis removes the clothes slowly, turning his back on the alpha.

"Louis," Harry calls when the brunette has put the buso aside and has a naked torso.

Louis shakes his head, biting his bottom lip and reaching for his sweater as he says. "Don't ask."

Harry laughs incredulously at his back. "You're fucking kidding." Louis trembles at the alpha's tone, but he ignores the feeling in his chest and the abrupt change in the alpha's scent for something thicker, more alarming; He is worried.

Louis looks at Harry before daring to take off the joggers, the alpha frown is puckered and it seems it is taking everything for him to say nothing. Louis nervously traces the tattoo on his wrist. "Can you turn around, please." Louis asks in a low, nervous voice. Harry's eyes blinks open, impressed and his lips form in a line. He doesn't turn around, instead shortens the distance between them and leans until his face is at the height of Louis belly. Harry lifts the sweater.

There is a tense moment of silence interrupted only by the breathing of Louis and Harry until the alpha lets out a breath of air.

"It shows" Harry lets out, a mixture of disbelief and dismay. "It's not supposed to -You're too thin." Louis knows it.

"I do not-"

"Don't even think to say you're not, Louis, I'm going to get fucking mad if you even dare insinuate it." Warns the alpha, stinking the room with anger. Louis swallows, nervous. He knows that he must be making his own contribution with his scent. His alpha is not supposed to be angry (he is not even supposed to be here, but). Louis blinks the tears away and tries to move backwards, Harry stops him and gives one last look upwards -looking at Louis with determination- and then pulling the joggers down.

"Shit," Harry gasps breathlessly, Louis watches him, his eyes open as he slides a hand down his thighs.

_'It's not too bad'_ Louis thinks. And he knows that it is not the same as before, but it could be much worse if he thinks about it correctly. He has also seen himself in a mirror, he has looked at the way the bones of his hip stick out more than they should and his collarbones are too pronounced. The way his knees are now too far apart and his thighs don't have enough mass. He has seen every day for weeks how his belly has started to show too much when it shouldn't yet. He has rejected several proposals on modeling underwear and lingerie for the same reason. Louis knows it's not right, but once again, it could be worse, much worse.

"How did this even happen?"

Louis takes a deep breath, getting as far away as he can from the alpha. Harry does not stop him this time, but his green eyes jump over Louis immediately, a look that the omega can't understand.

"Look, it's wrong, I know, but it's not like I'm malnourished or have an eating disorder, okay," Louis takes a deep breath, "but it's fucking hard to do this, right? You're not -I have to work and do it constantly sick is not an option." He lies.

"You don't need a job." Harry clarifies seriously.

"I can't stay in the house either. I won’t be like one of your trophies that you don't touch or look at, but you know it's always there waiting for your attention." Louis attacks and turns around, ignoring Harry, his scent and his own instinct that wants him to go to the alpha and calm him. However, Louis cannot. He doesn't know how. He knows that he has lost weight in an alarming way, but he had spoken with the doctor before even thinking about getting on the jet. The man told him that he still had the strength and mass to be in state, that nothing was still in danger. But also the doctor said he should gain weight if he didn't want to face a health problem that affected both him and the pup. Louis has tried, all these days, but it's so _fucking difficult._

He finishes dressing in record time -sweatpants and trainers- and after putting his things away Louis puts on Harry's old coat and tries to reach for the backpack, but Harry takes it before Louis can say anything.

None of them say anything as they make their way out of the room and the building with Preston following close behind.

The weather is incredible and the sun shines on the horizon. There are some paparazzi taking pictures of people leaving the building and Louis can’t help but worry about the cold that seeps into his bones, it's even a little painful. He doesn’t say anything and jumps into the waiting car. Louis wraps his coat around him and leans against the window, closing his eyes. Harry doesn't come in immediately, but there are voices outside that Louis can't understand, so he's not surprised when at around five minutes there are movements by his side and the door shuts closed. He can feel the alpha's gaze on him and take all his control don't move uncomfortably.

"Y'feeling right?" The alpha asks, Louis takes a deep breath.

"I just want to sleep." He answers simply and curl up on himself.

Everything is still very fragile between them.

Nobody says anything else as the car starts to move.

**x**

Louis wakes up startled and shaking, gasping for air. It takes only a second to feel the alpha's hands touching him, scanning his body. Louis is forced to take deep breaths as he'd learned weeks ago and ignores the comfort that comes with the alpha's touch.

"Well," Louis says to get the attention of the alpha who looks a bit out of himself, smelling rough and worried. "I'm fine, H, it's normal."

"What?" Harry says, stopping abruptly. "Normal?"

Louis nods, a blush on his cheeks. "Yes, this isn't the first time it happens and now I know how to control it."

Harry scowls and bites his bottom lip for a couple of minutes. Louis looks at him waiting for the reproach, but before the alpha can say anything the car stops and the door take long to open. Harry reacts and takes Louis' hand, intertwining their fingers.

"Come on, we just have to go up and the plane is going to take off, I need to get home."

Louis follows Harry without asking questions as they move towards the jet. Once onboard Harry leads them to the last seats before the back bedroom area and they settle in, Harry at the window, Louis at his side. Harry takes off his jacket and then fasten their seatbelts.

Preston gives them one last look before he nods to Harry and goes to the front. The plane doesn't take long to start moving. Louis looks at Harry.

"I asked them to have something for you to eat, they will bring it when we have reached the required altitude and it's safe to move." Louis wants to protest, but there is also that part of himself that wants to make the alpha happy. So, Louis thinks that, after what has been happening his instinct can win.

He lets out a sigh, and adjusts the coat one more time. He doesn't feel as cold as minutes ago, but he's not as warm as he should be.

"Are you cold?" Harry asks. When Louis looks at him he can see the way the alpha's feet are restless hitting the floor and the way he plays with his fingers. _It's anxiety._

Louis nods slightly, wondering what the alpha will be nervous about. It's not like Harry is foreign to planes or afraid of flying, they have spent a considerable amount of time on planes, but he doesn't dare to ask either, not sure at what point their relationship is.

Ten minutes later the speakers sound and the voice of a man informs them that it's safe to move, it's all that is needed for Harry to undo his seatbelt and do the same with Louis'.

"What’s this?" The omega questions confused, the only response is a grunt before Harry pulls his body and Louis is sitting on the alpha's lap.

"Here," Harry says, leaning his forehead on Louis' shoulder for a couple of minutes, heavy breaths leaving his lips.

It's quite peaceful and the warmth of the alpha surrounding Louis feels so good that it takes the omega a few seconds to move the tension away from his body and lay his back against the alpha's chest, resting his cheek on the older's shoulder, eyes closed.

Louis breathes softly, melting into the heat of the alpha and the tranquility of the moment. Harry put his hands around Louis' waist, trying to get their bodies together as much as possible and Louis lets Harry do it his way. Louis lets out a chuckle when he feels Harry's lips rub against his neck, it's as if Harry really wants it.

"My beautiful omega," Harry murmurs, sucking a mark on Louis' neck as he slides a hand under the brunette's shirt. Louis tenses up, but forces himself to let go, reminding himself that it's Harry who is touching him and that they have done this countless times. Nothing changes that their relationship is at a bad time or whatever.

Louis gasps when one of his nipples is caught by the alpha's fingers, Harry presses it before pulling it tentatively. Louis moans and thinks he can feel the older man's smile against his neck.

"So cute." the alpha whispers and kisses Louis' neck, his free hand trying to remove the coat.

Louis moans, a sound that escapes of his throat. "I'm cold, Hazza." Louis says childishly, a pout on his lips.

"I know, love. I just want to get you closer, God, this is fucking big." He comments as he slides the coat down Louis' arms, finally letting it fall carelessly.

"It was yours." Louis says softly, opening his eyes to find the alpha's gaze; eyes bright and grin smug.

"I know that, darling," Harry says, one of his hands now on Louis' lower back. The alpha pushes him closer than Louis has to open his legs to fit properly, his thighs pressing on the alpha's waist and both hands squeezing the strong shoulders.

Harry looks at him with hungry eyes, but there’s something else; something vicious. Angry.

Louis licks his bottom lip. "Are you cross at me?" He asks calmly, stroking the alpha's shoulders, his alpha.

Harry doesn't respond immediately, instead keeping his fingers caressing Louis' waist until he is suddenly pulling the sweater off of Louis' body. Louis is pliant.

"I'm cross," Harry says eventually, scanning Louis' body with his gaze for what seems like hours. Louis has to try too hard not to writhe at the discomfort of the firm gaze. "Not with you, however, rather I hate not having been with you as much as I would have liked. You know, not having known about our pup before, it's a bit bittersweet to know now but it also makes me feel happy, y'know. It feels good."

Louis bites his bottom lip for a moment analyzing the alpha’s words. "Yeah?"

"Mmhm," Harry hums, bending to bury his face in the omega's neck. Louis flinches but lets the alpha smell him while rubbing his hips.

Harry's lips are warm sliding down his skin, sucking marks on Louis' neck. He makes his way down his collarbones and chest, sucking and licking up to the nipples, Louis moans when Harry catches one of his nipples between his lips, licking fervently until it's erect in his mouth. Louis gasps, and grabbing a handful of alpha hair between his hands tries to put it impossibly closer, squeezing hard to keep it there as much as possible. Harry grunts, causing a chill to run down Louis' back, the omega's skin bristling.

"Alpha," Louis whines softly, trembling at each touch. God, it's been so long since he was touched, so long since he felt wanted by Harry, by his alpha.

"I've got you, babe," Harry says, breathing heavily before running his tongue across Louis' other nipple, wrapping his lips in this seconds later.

Louis whimpers, starting a swing with his hips in the alpha's lap. He can feel Harry's cock against his thigh, big and thick. The way his body trembles in anticipation is exquisite. A mixture between desire, madness and lust.

Harry's hands tighten at Louis' hips, prompting him to move. Louis does it more fervently as Harry's lips lick and bite his jaw, drawing marks that would stay there for days. Louis takes it, rocking in Harry's lap, against his crotch, his own neglected. In fact, it almost hurts when he rubs roughly against Harry's stomach. Louis can feel the slick wetting the back of his sweatpants and the arousal he's feeling now is new. Devastating.

"Fucking beautiful." Harry whispers and presses his lips together. Louis makes a pleased little noise, sliding his tongue against alpha'.

Louis' so lost, biting the alpha's lips that he almost doesn’t notice the hand that sneaks into his underwear. Harry cradles one of his arsecheeks and pushes Louis closer, impossibly close, his nipples rubbing against Harry's shirt, hardening even more at every movement.

"You like it like that baby." Harry asks, pressing the tip of his index finger into Louis' entrance. Louis moans, his back arching at the touch. The alpha smiles, pressing harder until his finger slides inside Louis' hole and Louis shivers muttering a soft _'yes'_. Harry smiles against Louis' lips, pushing his finger in and out, chills running down Louis' body, broken sounds leaving his lips.

It's been so long. _Fuck._

"I-I'm-" Louis mutters breathlessly, rocking his hips harder, desperate, Harry's finger crashing swiftly against his prostate. "Please, H," he pleads, his face hidden in the alpha's neck, moans and gasps leaving his lips. Harry bites Louis' shoulder, over and over again, doing the same with his neck until it all comes down to whining and uncontrolled movements. Then, before he can say anything, Louis comes, a cry escaping his lips as he trembles against the alpha's body.

Louis is not sure how much time passes before he comes back to himself, but by the time it happens they have moved to bed. Louis blinks, clearing his vision to find a look of desire in the alpha's eyes, his pupils are dilated and there is a sparkle in his eyes that bristles Louis' neck. Louis licks his lips when he sees Harry' smile.

"Haz," Louis murmurs with a blush on his cheeks. He can feel Harry's fingers in the waistband of his sweatpants and can barely wait for them to be pulled off of his body. "Take them off," Louis says quietly, starting to unbutton the alpha’ shirt. Louis' sweatpants are wet from the slick and the come, but beyond that he wants to be able to feel every part of his alpha, skin against skin. Everything comes down to the lust of the moment.

Harry obeys. Albeit only after Louis has slipped the shirt off of his shoulders but his eyes don't leave Louis' as he leans down, his hands on the waistband and his lips pressing kisses as he moves. Louis is holding his breath when Harry begins to take off his sweatpants, painfully slow, as if they had all the time in the world and maybe they have it, but Louis wants this more than anything. Fuck, his body is begging for it.

"Please," Louis pleads and he thinks that that word is going to become quite familiar from now on.

Harry blinks slowly and smiles softly. "Look at you, my beautiful omega, carrying my baby, so damn precious." He coos, kissing the blue-eyed boy belly repeatedly. Louis is speechless because he really never expected his alpha to be so contemplative at the thought of a baby, their baby, _their puppy._

"I love you." Louis says under his breath.

Harry smiles. "I love you too, a lot." Louis contains the desire to cry.

When Harry finishes taking off Louis' sweatpants cars -after having removed his trainers- he drops them carelessly on the floor and looks at Louis licking his lips.

"I want to eat you," Harry hums, snapping his tongue as he hovers over the omega. Louis has to refrain from stretching his hands to touch Harry, instead he breathes deep and bends his knees, opening his legs enough to have Harry's body between them.

"Do it." Try to make it sounds casual but it's more a plea. Nothing new.

The alpha smiles, bending until his breath hits Louis' lips. "Yes?" He says, but more than a question the blue-eyed boy knows that it is an affirmation. Louis takes a deep breath and smacks their lips together, if Harry is surprised he doesn’t show it, pressing his lips against Louis' and pushing his tongue against them, Louis opens his mouth moaning, but Harry pulls away before the blue-eyed boy can get enough.

The alpha doesn’t look at him instead going directly to his neck, beginning to suck hard, moving through his collarbones, scraping with his teeth until Louis is breathless, heavy puffs of air leaving his lips.

"Ah, yeah." Louis lets out panting.

"That's it, love," the alpha murmurs. Louis can barely hear it because of the static in his ears. Harry blows one of his nipples before sucking it fervently while he wraps the other between his index finger and thumb, pulling it while biting the other. Louis whimpers, pressing his hands on the alpha's shoulders. "So sensitive." Harry mutters, sucking on the other nipple until both are hard.

Louis' eyes are closed when Harry begins to kiss every nook and cranny of his skin, causing goosebumps while sucking Louis’ belly. Louis thinks Harry mutters something, but he's too far away to understand. The next thing he feels are his legs spread out and Harry's tongue licking his rim.

Louis groans pitifully, squeezing the sheets between his fists, his knuckles turning white.

Harry licks again, pursing his lips and sucking Louis' hole with vigour. Louis whines loudly, raising his hips and begging for more. Cries of pleading leaving his mouth. However, Louis doesn’t care. He has wanted this for so long that he would pray to every existing deity until he gets it.

Louis snorts, tears at the corners of his eyes when the alpha's tongue skirts his entrance, pushing slowly inside until the blue-eyed boy can feel it in his hole; _so, so good._

It all comes down to the sounds that leave Louis' mouth while Harry eats him out. Nothing else matters, neither what happened before, nor the other people on the plane. Only the two of them, and Louis believes that. If he could stop the time now, he would be happy.

Harry pulls away with a snap, licking one last time. Louis groans.

"Please," Louis begs, spreading out his legs for Harry, he is painfully hard again. The alpha looks at him, licking his damplips -also his jaw, shiny slick dripping from it- before pressing his thumb into Louis’ hole. Louis moans at the touch, his eyes closed in ecstasy. "Alpha." He whines.

He can feel every thing, every touch, every breath. He feels so sensitive everywhere. God, Louis can hardly think coherently, lost in the arousal and the desire to feel the knot of his alpha, cannot wait.

"I'm going to fill you up so well baby. Do you want that?" Harry says absently, leaning down to suck a mark on Louis' hip. The omega gasps, his hands flying to Harry's hair as he nods repeatedly, wanting to keep him there, but at the same time he wants the alpha to kiss his whole body, to suck as many bruises as he can. Fuck, Louis wants it so much.

Harry sucks, licks and bites so hard that he has Louis shaking, his breathing snags when he pulls the alpha's hair. Harry gasps, kissing one last bruise, then kissing his skin, caressing each place that touch his lips with his fingers. Louis is burning.

"Hazz -Fuck." Louis says desperate. He needs more. He needs his alpha. "I need you." He says breathing heavily.

"Yeah," Harry breathes softly. Louis almost wants to cry because of the sudden way their bodies lose contact, but it's only a matter of seconds until Harry is pulling his hips down and pushing his legs apart. Louis whines.

"Look at me." Harry says hoarsely, the tip of his cock brushing against Louis' entrance. Louis is trembling in anticipation, so close but so far away. He feels that Harry has been testing him for hours and he just wants … just-

"Please," he sobs weakly, looking for more contact, but Harry pulls away before Louis can even move. Louis hums a moan. "Ple-"

"Look at me." Harry repeats once more, much stronger. Louis arches moaning when Harry starts to push his cock into his entrance. "Louis." Harry calls and the omega practically has to force himself, breathing deeply before blinking, tears leaving his eyes as he tries to look at the alpha.

When his eyes meet the alpha's face, Louis can't swallow the moan that leaves his lips. Harry is ... Fuck. Harry is sublime.

The alpha’s face is tense, but beyond, the thin layer of sweat on his forehead and hunger in his eyes has the omega trembling lightly. Louis had never felt so wanted, or so desperate to be fucked.

"Beautiful." The alpha says tensely, pushing inside Louis without looking away. Louis moans, again and again, with each thrust, with each inch. It feels so good, to be filled like this, that Louis can barely breathe properly. His chest heaving, as he whimpers, not wanting this to end.

" _Yes, yes, yes._ " He babbles, a wave of pleasure running through his body when the alpha breathes against his lips before kissing him, Louis gives in, opening his mouth to find the alpha's tongue.

Harry moves away smiling, kissing the omega’s cheeks before hiding his face in his neck, catching slight blasts of air. "So good," Harry breathes, brushing his lips on Louis' neck; testing. "You feel so good around me, honey, so good for me." The alpha praise.

"Yes," Louis murmurs, feeling in a cloud. Small tears are hooked on his eyelashes as he blinks. He had almost forgotten how it felt to have Harry inside of him, but the feeling is so damned good, Louis has his skin bristling. "Come on," Louis asks after taking a deep breath, crossing his legs on the alpha's back and starting a slow sway with his hips.

It's so good, the way Harry's cock fits on his hole, so thick, fuck, Louis wants it so damn much.

Harry grunts, pushing his hips roughly, one hand on Louis' hip while the other holds his body, hovering over the omega. Louis laughs tearfully with each new rush, the way his body reacts to each push, each touch, each breath. Everything feels so good, Louis can't even think, so enthralled.

Louis whimpers feeling the alpha’s cock hit his spot, repeatedly, Louis is so close, he can feel the sensation bothering his groin. Harry increasingly rushed, his movements uncoordinated but he leans in to peck their lips together, leaving Louis thirsty for more. Each guttural sound that leaves Harry’s mouth sends a beam of stimulation through Louis’ back, his legs are tightened in the waist of Harry and his arms catch his shoulders.

Louis cries when an especially strong rush throws him over the edge, coming on his stomach and chest, untouched, his fingers digging into the alpha's back as his lips suck a bruise into his neck. Louis moans, mouth open and back arched, feeling also the alpha knot tying them together and the first wave of cum fill him. Chills run through his body and the blue-eyed boys feel that he is in heaven, being in the arms of his alpha feels like that, while their skins are rubbing and the contact is so intimate that Louis could stay like this forever. The universe knows that he would if he could.

When Louis finally comes down from his high, Harry's hovering over him, his hair a mess and a quiet smile on his lips. They lie there just looking at each other. There is a thick layer of sweat causing Louis' fringe to stick to his forehead. Harry moves it away, his fingers slowly rubbing the blue-eyed boys' forehead. Louis smiles widely.

"Hey," Harry says softly, as he rubs his thumb on Louis' hip bone slowly.

Louis blinks the tears and moves his hand to Harry's arm, squeezing hard. He wants to say something but before he can do it, the alpha leans down, pressing his lips onto Louis’, kissing him deeply. "You okay?" Harry asks. Louis grins.

There is a certain calm between them, as if the past tension has finally vanished. And Harry looks much more relaxed and his body is lighter.

"Yes." Louis says unable to stop smiling, squeezing his legs around the alpha's waist. "It feels good to be knotted like this," his blue eyes finding Harry's greens. Impossibly bright. "I like it." He lets out a giggle.

"I don't think the baby thinks the same." Harry mentions amused, the corners of his lips up. Louis rolls his eyes, barely able to contain his own happiness.

"There's not much he can do about it now, Haz." He says yawning. Louis is tired, but he is enjoying this tranquility so much that he doesn't care much. But apparently Harry thinks differently. Louis can’t blame him.

"Sleep." Harry says, but Louis knows it's more like an order, something for which the omega is not going to argue. Louis murmurs a slight _"uhum"_ , his eyes already closed, lashes brushing his cheekbones. "I love you."

"Love you too." Louis responds, but he’s almost asleep.

He feels Harry press a kiss to his cheek before being caught in Morpheus' arms.

**x**

"You have to eat." Harry mentions against Louis' ear. Louis already knows and is very on board with the idea, the way his stomach roars may be a sign.

They are sitting on the bed, Louis' back pressed against the alpha's chest, both wrapped in a duvet.

When Louis awoke thirty minutes ago Harry was awake, the knot was far down and the alpha was entertainingly tracing Louis' belly. Louis was so happy that he had pulled Harry and kissed him until his lips were swollen and sore. And now they are here.

"Yes." Louis accepts easily.

The alpha moves quickly, putting on his pants and pecking at Louis' lips to then leave the bedroom.

Louis doesn't remember feeling this happy in months, and the way everything around him smells like Harry is incredibly overwhelming, but Louis wouldn't want it any other way. It feels good to be like this and not everything is perfect and there are a lot of things that Louis and Harry have to talk about, but it's like Louis' instinct tells him that everything between them will be fine, much more now that a third member will be added to the family.

Louis really hopes that his instinct doesn’t fail.

**x**

They go to bed after Harry watches Louis eat everything he brought.

Louis gets closer to Harry, looking for the alpha's scent to become impregnated in his body as much as possible, he isn't sure how long this wave of sudden concern of the alpha will last, but Louis thinks that if he can take advantage of this now it will not be so painful when it ends (maybe it’ll be even harder, but Louis is not going to think about that too much). Harry moves and wraps an arm around Louis' body, pulling him closer.

"You cold, love?" He asks softly, tracing circles with his thumb on the brunette's waist.

Louis denies it, breathing deeply before he leans his forehead against the older man's chest. "I just want to enjoy this enough, before it's gone." He says breathlessly, Harry's hand tightens around him.

"Lou," Harry starts slowly.

"Don't." Louis interrupts sternly. "I don't want to talk about that." He clarifies with a softer voice this time.

"You can't just say things like that and want me to pretend that it wasn't like that." Harry clarifies seriously, the alpha lets his arm slide out Louis' body for a few seconds before he pushes Louis onto his back and looms over him, his arms on either side for support. "What is wrong?"

Louis sounds tired when he says. "I don't want empty promises, y’know, that you say something like _'this is not going to happen again'_ and when we're back at home the only thing you can think about is work." The confession is dry as it slides off Louis' lips, but those are the most real words he has told the alpha since they met several hours ago. "And I don't know, but I think that if I can have this here while we're locked in a plane, I'm going to take in as much of this as possible."

Harry is silent for a moment, just looking at Louis with a twinkle of adoration in his eyes that causes chills in the omega and a slight sense of pride in his chest, his omega is now ecstatic.

"I love you," Harry lets go, then leaning down to press his lips together briefly. "And I know I can't promise anything like that," brief kiss, "but I can assure you that I'll be here as long as you need me," a longer, deeper kiss, "right now you are my number one priority and I'm very sorry it took me so long to get here, yes, but the baby and you are all that matters to me, okay?"

"Yes." says Louis under his breath, pressing his hands on the alpha's neck to get another kiss, much longer than any of the above. "Let’s go _home_ ," Louis says quietly, breathing against Harry's lips. " _Alpha._ " 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it and I would love if you let kudos and comments. Thank you.  
> Here's a [tumblr](http://notasawrap.tumblr.com/post/169198327237/him-i-by-notasawrap-louis-inhales-deeply) post if you would like reblog it


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